Comments on: “How did your mom feel about her dementia?”

By: Maria Sorrentino

Maria Sorrentino — Wed, 25 Mar 2015 12:30:32 +0000

I really needed to read this today. My mom has dementia probably Alzhiemers she has been declining the past several months we had to place her in a Assisted Living memory care unit. She is 83 had the disease probably for the last three yrs with it escalating last year where for her own safety we needed to place her in a home. We had been to two psch behav hosptials to get her meds adjusted over the last year. Mom would go through really manic stages were she would walk constantly not eat or sleep then crash. After a few of these crashes and her having hard times coming back from them and countless hospitalizations it was decided that Hospice should come in. The last two months mom no longer seemed her happy self she was very anxious her manic walking increased her eating and sleeping decreased she fell this last week and fractured her hip. She is about 90 lbs she does not understand what has happened and we needed to get a 24/7 nurse at least for the week. We are on day 2 all they are doing is pumping her up with pain meds to be comfortable she is not eating and we swab her chapped lips she moans when she is in pain and then goes back to sleep when the medication kicks in. I am praying that this is the end of her road only because I know that she is no longer happy and she has been struggling prior to this hip fracuture and as your article stated why do an invasive surgery where she probably would not recover from to live a life i dont think she wants to live anymore. All i can do is pray and hopefully she will go peacefully in the next few days. I just want her at peace as she is not.

By: KB

KB — Thu, 26 Feb 2015 22:03:15 +0000

We are currently contending with a similar situation. My 91 year old mother has dementia and fell (hip fx) at her assisted living memory care unit where she lived with my father only for 5 weeks. This was her second hip fracture in 6 months. This time it required a more serious repair (hip replacement) and now she is in rehab where her dementia has really progressed and it is painful to watch her go downhill so fast. The fact that she came through the first hip repair six months ago after rehab and walked with the aid of a walker, and thrived nicely in a supportive environment, I wonder and worry about this second time around. It seems like this might be just too much for her fragile body to withstand even with her loving nature, spunk and prayers from everyone around her. The ironic thing is that we were told by many doctors at the hospital last year that she had only 5 days to live and she was then transferred to hospice where the care was so unbelievably wonderful, that she became healthier and more lively each day and would spend her days singing for everyone. She was discharged after 7 weeks from hospice – head of her class :-). While I and my family feel blessed to have the “second chance” to spend quality time with my Mom through this past year, she is now once again in a sad state. It is quite the emotional roller coaster.

By: Toby Green

Toby Green — Thu, 01 Jan 2015 19:12:19 +0000

Many doctors and family members alike share an attitude that is the result of a culture that denies death as a natural occurrence. It’s unfortunate that elderly, with or without dementia, are given often unrealistic prognoses for invasive procedures that would be risky and debilitating to even young and healthy patients.

My formerly active mother complained of “vague discomfort, and lack of appetite” that were determined to be symptoms of a very slow growing gall bladder and liver cancer. The doctor spoke of a cure (chemotherapy) that would give her many more years of active life. Instead, the chemo wiped her out from the first treatment, and ultimately hastened her death.

If I get sick, I hope I don’t listen to those doctors and their greed-for-money motivated promises. Just give me comfort meds, and let me make the best of the time I have left.

By: therese ortola

therese ortola — Tue, 18 Nov 2014 02:07:45 +0000

I am in total agreement and wish my husband could find the courage to see it that way. He is struggling with a similar situation with his mom… he can’t let go. I admire his determination but she was in constant mental anguish before the hip fracture, and now she has the added physical pain. Rehab is becoming unlikely as she is heavily drugged at the nursing home where she is considered a difficult patient. She is going downhill fast but he refuses to accept that. He wants to take her home, take a family leave of absence, and get her to walk again.