Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unspalash
#5 Hang out with OLD, SICK, and/or DYING people.
Volunteer with a hospice or nursing home. Better yet, visit seriously ill relatives. You will learn a few things about the end of life, and it will mean a lot to someone else.
#4 PUT IT IN WRITING, resolve to do those advance directives you’ve been putting off.
Go to caringinfo.org to download an advance directive for your state. The MOST IMPORTANT piece of paper is the “healthcare durable power of attorney.”
#3 Consider a “DEMENTIA advance directive” addendum.
I did this in 2024. For me, it was a Voluntary Stopping Eating and Drinking or VSED addendum to my already existing advance directive. My instructions are that hand feeding be withheld if I progress into severe advanced dementia.
#2 TALK to your family about your end-of-life values.
For example, tell your family if it is more important to you to be kept alive on machines no matter the quality of life or, conversely, if you would rather not have your life prolonged artificially if you have a serious illness with little chance of recovery.
#1 Assume a NONJUDGEMENTAL stance
This is for all areas of life but in the area of end-of-life decisions, if you have been putting off completing an advance directive, don’t feel guilty that you delayed. Just do it without judgement. Or, if have regrets about a decision you made on behalf of someone you love, be gentle on yourself. WE ALL ARE DOING THE BEST WE CAN. This is a mindfulness practice for all of life — being nonjudgemental about events, people, and the things people do.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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Author Chaplain Hank Dunn, MDiv, has sold over 4 million copies of his books Hard Choices for Loving People and Light in the Shadows (also available on Amazon).
